Breaking News: MAN OUTRUNS BEAR

Breaking news:

Never before seen or heard of in all of human history: man outruns bear and survives!!!

A New York man was hiking in the wilderness, with just the clothes on his back, a peanut butter sandwich and a water bottle. He said he had escaped the hustle and bustle to go catch frogs. He enjoys frogs and has found a lovely pastime of catching them and keeping them as pets. After spending some time in the great outdoors, he said, “I had just had half my peanut butter sandwich after catching frogs, and was about to preach the gospel to the bears…” the man said it had been approximately 2:52pm when he looked and saw a black bear in the woods eyeing him. “I’ve always been told I should play dead,” the man said with a chuckle, “but I know my running capabilities and that I could easily outrun this bear!” The man started running, dropping the other half of his peanut butter sandwich. “That’s when I looked behind me, and saw the bear charging at me with so much force it was unbelievable!” The man said he kept running and running believing he could outrun the bear. “I had outrun my girlfriend many times while we were trying to snatch a bus, so I know I’m pretty fast” he said. All his time running after busses has paid off, because after a few miles, the bear got tired and turned around to scratch his back on a tree. The man finally made his way back to the city and back home. “It was thrilling to outrun this bear. I know I could outrun the rest! Bears, if you’re reading this, just know you can’t outrun me!” The man is gleaming from his achievement. The government is considering him for the best runner award. Way to go, running man! Way to go. You’ve done what no other can do. Amazing. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” said the man who outran a bear.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s